Dear user20391,

My name is Spa M. the Third and I am in dire need of your help...
You are my long lost relative and if you rescue me, I will reward you very generously.
I was captured by the evil CMU puzzle hunt club and they are holding me hostage.
You must solve the puzzles they wrote to free me! Quick, I don't have much time!
SPAMSPAMSPAMSPAM

Spamcerely,

Spa M. the Third

Gah, you get so many emails like this all the time. But cleaning up your inbox seems impossible...